April 22 -- The Big DAY!
From 8pm to around 5am, I was in early labor. I labored in bed, very internalized, trying to rest and sleep in between my contractions. I got another dose of cytotec at midnight and then another at 4am. My contractions started at 5-7 minutes apart and at around 3am were now 3-5 minutes apart. The Dr wanted to see them get closer together, around 4 minutes apart. I remember looking over at AJ sleeping on the couch and wondering when I should wake him.
At around 4am, they started getting way more intense. I woke up AJ at around 4:30 because I could use some help to cope through them. My hips were starting to really really ache. I also told my mom and Denise and Zoe, the doula to come back over to help.
At around 5am, everyone came back to the hospital. Zoe began giving me some massages. Denise did some accupressure on my feet and AJ would apply counterpressure on my hips when I would have a contraction. I was still comfortable lying in bed at this point and was naively thinking I might still be able to get a little bit of rest.
(The Birth team in action: Massages, counterpressure, birth ball and the slow dance position)
(Of course, you have to leave time to check in on Facebook)
All during this time and throughout the rest of the labor, Alexander's heart rate was wacky. It would decelerate after contractions or they would lose it all together. Some nurses would freak out and run in the room telling me to lay one way or another or wear the oxygen mask and other's were more nonchalant about it. His heart rate would always recover, but it was always acting up.
My doctor came by in the morning and checked me. Only 2-3 centimeters. Womp womp. She said she wasn't too concerned about his heart rate, but was watching it very closely remotely from her office across the street.
At around 8am, things started to really pick up. There would be no sleeping or resting from here on out. I started to really feel the pressure. My hips were killing me. I couldn't stand to be lying in bed anymore. Zoe suggested some other positions, like sitting on the birthing ball. What I really liked was standing next to the bed with the birthing ball on the bed and leaning over the birthing ball. When I would have a contraction, Denise or AJ would apply counterpressure to my hips. I swear it felt like my hips were spreading with each contraction (they probably were!).
(my favorite laboring position)
At around 10am, this angel of a nurse looked at my birth plan (which I thought was completely out the door) and said, "Do you still want to labor in the tub?" "Yes!" I said. It was so nice to feel like I was still having some of the things I wanted in labor. I had to get continuous fetal monitoring for his heart rate, continual fluids through an IV since my fluid levels were low and had to be hooked up to oxygen every now and then when his heart rate would drop. All things I didn't want, but knew were for the best. Now, it was great to be able to detach from those machines and labor in the tub.
I stayed in the tub for about 2 hours with AJ sitting next to me massaging my leg for each contraction. The contractions were coming every 3 minutes apart and the tub made it possible to actually sleep between each one. There was a point in the tub that we were joking about all the things I could do now. I would moan "sushiiiii"...."margaritas...." ..."suuuushhiiiii..." I never thought it would be possible to do sleep in between such intense pain, but I did. I'll tell you though, being woken from sleep by a contraction is not fun. I was in my own world at this point, I wasn't talking very much, but AJ knew from my sounds and body language when a contraction was starting. He would remind me to take a cleansing breath, would massage my leg and then tell me when it was almost over. He would watch the machine and tell me when the contraction was on the way down. It all worked out beautifully and I couldn't ask for a better support team.
(AJ and I during a contraction)
At around noon, I got out the tub and I got the first dose of pitocin. They gave me the lowest dose. I was still only 4 cm dilated. The contractions immediately picked up, but they were still bearable. We had some Bon Iver on and I was still using the wireless fetal monitors, so I was able to labor on the ball and in different positions. I was pretty proud of myself that I was handling the pitocin contractions pretty well.
At around 1:30pm, they upped my pitocin dose. Man, did this change things! My contractions went from bearable to excruciating in about 5 minutes. They went from 1-2 minutes apart to right on top of each other. I swear there were some that were about 30 seconds apart and lasting a minute long. I was cursing at this point. Screw bringing baby into a calm environment, this effing hurt!
The Epidural.
AJ and I had a code word for when I would want an epidural, should I choose to have one. I wanted really badly to have a non pain medicated labor, but was also open to an epidural. After 20 hours of labor and these intense contractions, I had a come to Jesus moment. I remember thinking that I had experienced labor, I felt the pain, had the massages, timed the contractions, did the breathing, bounced on the ball, felt little relief in the tub, held onto AJ so tightly at the peak of contractions. I was so happy to be experiencing that (yes, still happy), but I was also ready for it to be over. I wanted rest and I wanted the pain to end. That was nice, thank you, and now gimme the drugs :) I remember saying to AJ very calmly and matter-of-factly, "Purple Rain." (our code word). he looked at me and I nodded my head and said I'm ready for it.
Now actually getting the epidural was not as easy as I thought. First, the nurse was trying to give me some meds I didn't want (stadol) to hold me over. Once again, Zoe to the rescue to remind me of my birth plan and to let them know if I wanted that or not (I didn't).
Then, the actual epidural took thirty. long. freaking. minutes. to get in. All while I'm sitting in the worst position, hunched over in bed and having intense contractions 2 minutes apart. I'm sure I almost broke AJ's hands squeezing them so hard, but I didn't dare move a muscle in my back. This was probably the hardest part of the entire labor. He tried 4 different times, but couldn't place it. On the fourth try, he placed it. I didn't even care at all that there was a huge needle going in my back, I just wanted relief.
Once the epidural was in, I felt a lot of relief and, despite the trouble getting it in, I had a good epidural, yall. I could still move my legs, they didn't feel like dead weight, but I also didn't feel pain, just a little pressure, so I still felt when I was having a contraction. Mentally, I felt clear and rejuvenated. I finally relaxed. We put on a Modern Family marathon and sent everyone home at about 3pm so we could rest.
(right after getting the epidural - finally a smile!)
Time to Push!
Well, the rest period didn't last long. I'm one of those people that benefit from an epidural. I went from 4 cm to 7cm in 2 hours. Alexander's heart rate was being even more wacky after the epidural, so the doctor came over at about 5:30pm to monitor him. She looked worried and it takes a lot to worry Dr. A, so I was starting to get worried. She came sit close to me and told me that she wanted to get a better idea of what was going on. She thought that the low fluid levels meant that his cord was getting squeezed with each contraction, cutting off blood and oxygen to him. He wasn't recovering as well as before. She warned me of a potential C-section if it continued for too long, but reassured me that she wanted to really let me try as long as possible and prevent it as much as she could. She asked if I would be okay with assist like a vacuum, if necessary. Of course, I said yes because that's what you do when you see your baby's heart rate dropping on a monitor and know that the best thing is to get him out as quickly as possible.
She also said they may try two things: 1) an internal monitor and 2) injecting fluids into me to try to help with the decel. To do that, they would have to manually break my water, so they got their knitting hook looking contraption and broke my water. I barely had any, it trickled out. His heart rate started dropping more and becoming more erratic. Dr. A tried to stick the monitor in, but then exclaimed, "you're a 10! let's not do this monitor or fluid, let's just push." My family had just got back to the room. In a period of 3 hours, I went from 4cm and trying to take a nap to 10cm and ready to push! I was so excited. Everyone was excited.
Time to get this baby out. After that, things got more tense feeling. The room swarmed with a lot of people. Luckily, my absolute favorite 2 nurses were on duty at this time. Some people don't like being told when to push or counting down, but I loved it. I'm a workhorse. You tell me what to do and how to do it and I'll put 110% into that, so I really benefitted from having her count down. I could still sort of feel the contractions in a weird way, so they let me just push with the contractions and counted down for me. There was still a huge concern about his heart, so Dr. A said we needed to get him out quickly.
At 6pm, I started pushing. AJ was holding my hand. My mom, Denise and Zoe were helping me to hold each a leg up. I had the oxygen on because his heart rate was low. It was all so surreal. My first push wasn't great and Dr. A said "Push RIGHT HERE!" as she put pressure on where to push. I can do that, I thought and pushed as hard as I could right there. 'he's right there" Dr. A was saying. That push got him far down into the birth canal. I had my next contraction and pushed like there was no tomorrow! He was almost out, they were saying! I remember looking around, surrounded by these women that I loved, my support people, my mom and sister, my strong and confident doula and a doctor who I trusted so much. I felt like time stopped for a moment right there and I teared up a little bit looking at all these strong women who believed in me. "The next contraction is starting," the nurse said. Let's get him, Dr. A. said and attached the vacuum for the last push. And I pushed with everything in me. I think I even closed my eyes, but I could tell from the sounds of joy around me that he was out.
(AJ while I'm pushing)
(Mom holding my leg)
They placed my baby boy on my chest and I was in love. "Hi baby, Hi baby!" I kept saying. My mom and Denise were crying. AJ was looking at us in a mix of awe, adoration and a little bit of freaking out. And Alexander was just perfect.
In the end, I pushed for only 13 minutes and only had 2 stitches. Alexander had a really short cord. dr. A couldn't even put him on my stomach and we had to cut the cord right away.
Alexander was born at 6:13 pm on April 22. He weighed 6 lb, 12 oz and was 21 inches long. He was and still is absolutely perfect.
Here are some more pictures:
